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Sweetie Drew The Short Straw

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...and is getting ready for me to take her to jury duty.

I was given notice once, when I was living nort' of the Twin Cities, although there was no bench call, and after calling in every night for a week, I never had to go. (I was on a layoff, so it would not have been a problem, I stayed home for another week before taking a call back in North Dakota - coal plant in November? Give me the courtroom.)

Sweetie sits on the bench in downtown St. Paul - ugh. She has her magic backpack o' crafts, but still. She would like to be on a trial, something to mark down on life's bucket list. (My list includes some work - I've done a lot of things, but I always wanted to be a gravedigger, just for a day, just for the list. Of course, now they do it with a backhoe.) And I'd be okay with it, unless she went into a long sequester (I adore my frakkin wife and don't get to see her enough as it is), more power to her.

Myself, I wouldn't lie during the jury selection process, or try to get out of serving. Yet, somehow I don't think I'd make the trial.

DA:"Juror 80081E5, can you be a fair juror?
paleo: "I can and will, I'm reasonably intelligent, certainly opinionated but I like truth."
DA:"Do you have any issues with the American legal system?"
paleo:"Yes."
DA:"Such as?"
paleo: "Well, I hate you."
DA:"Pardon me?"
paleo:"You are the scum of the earth. I hate you and probably don't like your family."
facing Judge:"You too. Also, all cops are high school thugs who found a profession allowing them to remain bullies and dickweeds."
to defense attorney, currently grinning like a monkey:"Back it down there, cap'n, I hate you as well. I most likely hate your client."
DA:"AND YOU CAN BE AN IMPARTIAL JUROR?!"
paleo:"Of course! I don't have a dog in the race."

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