I've had a hard time following/commenting on politics lately. Not that I haven't, I've compared politicians to offal and teabaggers to tripe many times in the last few 46 years. But I'm having a hard time keeping perspective, or any sense of humor about it.
Hobby Lobby. Let's Sue The President For The Same Shit President Drooler And Vice President Shooter Did A Thousand Times. How Many Smokie Link Sized Republican Cocks Can Luke Russert Fit In His Orifi At Once. Has Governor Half Term Finally Boned The Shark. Murrieta. The last one will make another appearance
I'm a proud freak, a genuine weirdo. I believe in Bigfoot. I believe in ghosties. Not all people reporting UFOs are hallucinating or mistaken. I also believe in science. How many earthquakes must occur in Oklahoma before the inbred populace picks up on the fact that Grannie Erma is less interested in sex than she was before, and also she fell down a 500 ft. sinkhole, and oh, hey, there is a fracking operation on our patio, they paid me $49.95 for the rights and fuck you, commie.
Why do I juxtapose crypto-science and mainstream science?
The freak in me thinks mainstream scientists can be arrogant and pig-headed, and would not risk their precious reputations on the study of anything not already proven to exist. The scientist in me thinks most crypto-researchers have difficulty with the scientific method. In both cases, I am right. The two camps vociferously disagree with one another, and yet...
Bill Nye, the Science Guy, who I sacrifice a bull to daily, gave time to Ken Ham to debate whether Adam and Eve and their, for no particularly good reason, incredibly genetically diverse offspring rode a stegosaurus to the apple tree. (Note: They didn't.) Stephen Hawking has yet to mount an RPG to The Captain's Chair and go 'reason' with Lord Viscount Monckton. (Although, Dr. Hawking, we would make a fortune on PPView. I'll only take 60%. Productions fees and such. Stuff.) Although I've never met the men, as portrayed on TV, Matt Moneymaker (Finding Bigfoot) and Zak Bagens (Ghost Adventures) are complete doofi and go a long way to making the crypto-scientists look foolish.
I have yet to stalk Moneymaker with a silver bullet, or wire the Ed Hardy aisle at the Target where I suspect Bagans spends all the money to 13.8kV. There are shouting matches at conferences. There are, after 5 or 36 beers, shoving matches at conferences.
AIN'TN'T NO GUNFIRE OR BUGZAPPERS AT CONFERENCES.
Now. politics. And in the news, the central American child refugee crisis.
Sweet FSM, but the RWNJ's have completely lost their shit. The children, refugees under a Bush era law, and just looking to get to live someplace with fewer gunshots (boy, did they go the wrong direction), need food, water, social workers. What do they get instead?
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"Oh, but paleo, with modern cameras, they can do 17,000 exposures per second, and then some liberal picked out the worst ones. Like when Michele Bachmann's eyes rolled back in her head eating a corndog, realizing she hadn't deep-throated anything of this particular shape since high school. And when Marcus Bachmann's eyes rolled back in his head when eating a corndog, realizing he hadn't deep-throated anything of this particular shape since Tuesday."
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Hobby Lobby. Let's Sue The President For The Same Shit President Drooler And Vice President Shooter Did A Thousand Times. How Many Smokie Link Sized Republican Cocks Can Luke Russert Fit In His Orifi At Once. Has Governor Half Term Finally Boned The Shark. Murrieta. The last one will make another appearance
I'm a proud freak, a genuine weirdo. I believe in Bigfoot. I believe in ghosties. Not all people reporting UFOs are hallucinating or mistaken. I also believe in science. How many earthquakes must occur in Oklahoma before the inbred populace picks up on the fact that Grannie Erma is less interested in sex than she was before, and also she fell down a 500 ft. sinkhole, and oh, hey, there is a fracking operation on our patio, they paid me $49.95 for the rights and fuck you, commie.
Why do I juxtapose crypto-science and mainstream science?
The freak in me thinks mainstream scientists can be arrogant and pig-headed, and would not risk their precious reputations on the study of anything not already proven to exist. The scientist in me thinks most crypto-researchers have difficulty with the scientific method. In both cases, I am right. The two camps vociferously disagree with one another, and yet...
Bill Nye, the Science Guy, who I sacrifice a bull to daily, gave time to Ken Ham to debate whether Adam and Eve and their, for no particularly good reason, incredibly genetically diverse offspring rode a stegosaurus to the apple tree. (Note: They didn't.) Stephen Hawking has yet to mount an RPG to The Captain's Chair and go 'reason' with Lord Viscount Monckton. (Although, Dr. Hawking, we would make a fortune on PPView. I'll only take 60%. Productions fees and such. Stuff.) Although I've never met the men, as portrayed on TV, Matt Moneymaker (Finding Bigfoot) and Zak Bagens (Ghost Adventures) are complete doofi and go a long way to making the crypto-scientists look foolish.
I have yet to stalk Moneymaker with a silver bullet, or wire the Ed Hardy aisle at the Target where I suspect Bagans spends all the money to 13.8kV. There are shouting matches at conferences. There are, after 5 or 36 beers, shoving matches at conferences.
AIN'TN'T NO GUNFIRE OR BUGZAPPERS AT CONFERENCES.
Now. politics. And in the news, the central American child refugee crisis.
Sweet FSM, but the RWNJ's have completely lost their shit. The children, refugees under a Bush era law, and just looking to get to live someplace with fewer gunshots (boy, did they go the wrong direction), need food, water, social workers. What do they get instead?
"Oh, but paleo, with modern cameras, they can do 17,000 exposures per second, and then some liberal picked out the worst ones. Like when Michele Bachmann's eyes rolled back in her head eating a corndog, realizing she hadn't deep-throated anything of this particular shape since high school. And when Marcus Bachmann's eyes rolled back in his head when eating a corndog, realizing he hadn't deep-throated anything of this particular shape since Tuesday."
You know what, imaginary right-wing screwhead, you're right. And so this may be exposure 17,000,
but 1/17,000 of a second earlier, she was hugging the children, and 1/17,000 of a second later, she had adopted a busload and taken them to her strawberry farm for reasons. (Oh, and lady, I ain'tn't certain, I don't know you, and I suspect I would endure greater joy taking a golf-ball to the yarbles than to decipher your HTea-ML, but your kids are snacking on McNuggets, playing Mario Brothers 17 - Jesus Slays the Turtles, and are scheduled for a measles party Saturday night. The refugee children have been vaccinated and WALKED ACROSS FUCKING MEXICO. To hell with your water-headed cabbages, dear.)
There are folks in Michigan, otherwise known as Alabama with snow, home of Ted Nugent, who it must be pointed out is about 18months off on his predictionalizing, who have proposed mining the border. You know what, you hookers, let's see how goddam serious you are about protecting your borders. Take out the Ambassador Bridge to Windsor, Ont.
What, what's the difference, they's all furriners ain't they's? Thought so. Fornicate yourself.
Humanity sucks, kids.
That's why I prefer reading about Bigfoot to the attempt to analyse most people. Plus I get less stabby, and Sweetie has informed me many times she prefers not to be a prisoner's wife.
Meh, I'm about a quarter drunk, the doggeh needs his walk yet, and I have to wake up in about several fewer hours. Just, where'd we go wrong as a species? Is the theory of devolution ahead of its time?
