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Live Blogging Packers-Chargers

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Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Morphodites and Platypi, we now have the Green Bay Packers hosting the San Diego 4H and Tanning Club.

Green Bay is favored, but always remember Uncle paleo's number one rule of watching the 2010s era Green Bay Packers - any team playing a Dom Capers coached defense is never out of the game. Bear in mind the Chargers have Antonio Gates back.

Look forward to very much cussy updates!

Kickoff Time, 3:28.
THE NFL, IN ALL THEIR GLORIOUS WISDOM, HAS DICTATED CBS AIR A TALE OF TWO, WELL, THREE, WASHED UP QUARTERBACKS. FUCKING PAYTON, MCCOWN, AND ALKY MANZIEL.
INTERCOURSE THE NFL.
Not a good start, peckernecks.

12:20 in first quarter, according to the box score on-line, because PAYTON MANNING BLOWS GOATS AND PAPA JOHN SCHNATTER.

10:00 in first quarter: Dear CBS, you is severly kuting into my drinky time thing. Love, Johnny Football.

8:38, first quarter. Packers TD. paleo still watching J Manziel wishing he was a real boy. Also INTERCOURSE CBS.

6:00, first quarter. Game finally on telebision, throwback uniforms, and I have no drugs.

4:50, CBS announcer just commended Dom 'I kidnapped the Lindbergh baby' Capers. I still have no drugs.

1:51, A BLUE AND YELLOW STREAK DOWN TEH FIELD!!
Well, K, it don't sound right, but into the stands, James!
The following kickoff: Speaking tactically, Mr. Charger sir, I have never understood why anyone would take it out of 8 yards deep in the endzone unless it's the 4th and you're down, say 10 points. Otherwise, you end up on the, oh, your own 15. Idjit.

10:46, 2cd. Ballsy call on 4th and 3, I actually applaud it and am very surprised Gates didn't come up with hit, he's got hands. But excellent cover by Hyde, too.

6:48, 2cd. I really dislike settling for an FG after 1st down inside the 10. It's gonna bite us hard someday...

6:11, 2cd, FUMBLE, caused by Clinton Dix, recovered by Matthews, we needed this! And promptly showed our run blocking has a way to go...

End of the half - We got bit hard someday. The Zebras earned that Charger TD. What a bunch of shit. Need a drink and some popcorn...

Our goddamn defense should not have to stop BOTH the opposing offense and the ridiculous schemes of Dom 'The movie Crimson Peak is my autobiography' Capers.

From teh audience:

zombie rotten mcdonaldOctober 18, 2015 at 5:34 PM

Dom Capers is coming through again, making Rivers look like a good QB. FUCKINH TIED WHAT IS THIS SHIT??!?!?!!!?
paleo responds: It's a rare talent. Capersensory Perception. A man who can make a high school quarterback look like Joe Monfuckingtana.

zombie rotten mcdonaldOctober 18, 2015 at 5:34 PM

Announcepantsers. are totally in the bag for the Chargers.
paleo responds: Not prepared to make that accusation, but can verify that they suck on ice.

zombie rotten mcdonaldOctober 18, 2015 at 5:35 PM

Good thing I stocked up on bourbon...
paleo responds: As long as you don't have to be functional in the morning.

:46, 3rd Q. This has sucked. Now, Mr. Rodgers and the offense seem to have taken an interest in the game. It's time for Mike McCarthy to have Capers buried under the locker room and have ANYONE ELSE call the defensive formations. ANY ONE. Please, for fuck sake.

Umm. GAAAHHHH! in the 4th Q.


zombie rotten mcdonaldOctober 18, 2015 at 6:18 PM

Who the fuck called a running play on 3rd and 19?
paleo responds: Probably DON Capers, the intern offensive coord


zombie rotten mcdonaldOctober 18, 2015 at 6:19 PM

yeah, punting ain't going to win this game. KEEP THAT FUCKING RIVERS OFF THE FIELD, CAPERS YOU DOUCHE-CANOE!!!


zombie rotten mcdonaldOctober 18, 2015 at 6:22 PM

Can you imagine how great the Packers would be doing if Rodgers would get the kind of protection that Rivers has?
paleo responds: Yes.

zombie rotten mcdonaldOctober 18, 2015 at 6:35 PM

I hope paleo didn't stroke out...
paleo responds: The thought crossed my mind...

END OF GAME: STROKING OUT NOW!!!!

This is going to be a loooong fucking year.

Goodnight Gracie. Maybe some Doctor blogging later. Certainly some whiskey drinking.

Goddammit, bubba.

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